Hadi Abdul if you happen to see this, help me tell nursila what i wrote here.
Ms Nursila,
I don't blame you for calling me immature and childish, because you don't understand, to be exact, you don't even know me in the first place. Yes, you might have know
part of me, from how hadi has described it. But that don't give you the rights, neither the reasons to judge my character. If the way i care for my boyfriend, and the way i love him to you is childish and an act of immaturity, i don't know what to say either. In love, there's no right or wrong. You have your way and your style to love a person, by only chatting with him once a week and don't mind about it, i don't. In my game of luv, my rule is simple and sweet, there's only six words "I need you to need me" that's all. I can't imagine how do you nurture romance our of one a chat once a week. (You judged me in the first place, so here i am giving you my judgement). I'm not trying to say that the way i luv him was right, i clearly know i had made plenty of mistakes! But sad to say, i realised it too late. If he want to give you that chance to stead with him, i've got nothing to say, but give your my blessing followed by a cursing. I would have gave your my deep felt blessing if you hadn't judged me. I don't mind being judged and tell my flaws, but i hate it when people judge me just by what others have said and not by observing it themselves.
He said that you're mature, super mature that kind. Hadi, you hate my friend badmouthing you to me, i hate it equally when your friend does it! I don't talk back to your accusation doesn't means that i'm weak or speechless to admit my mistakes. I just don't want to end up quarreling. Call me desperate for all you want, i won't deny that fact. Yes, i am desperate to get you back. You said i smile smile when you ask for break up then ask you back, what do i want. Let me tell you, read my blog post on
14july. I agree to that break up cuz you said you really wanted to let go, i smiled becuz i don't wish you feel bad or guilty. I knew letting go was wrong... If only i had clung on.. FMS!
Lastly, thanks for your accusation and scolding and all those misunderstandings. I'm of no place to ask you back to my side anymore. I can't. Cuz i don't dare. And i am no longer qualified to be your girlf anymore. I can't bring you happiness, only unhappiness. But i guess nursila can. I really luv you.. but no matter what i said or do to try to prove it, you find them as craps. I'm no longer myself anymore, will not be and never will be.
You're like air, no matter how hard i try to catch, when i open my hand to see, there will always be nothing. You're like water, no matter how much i've caught, you will still slip through my hands..
I really luv you, always will be. I promised to wait, so i won't date.
