I want to protect you. But how, when i am so scarred?
I meant it from the bottom of my heart when i said i want to protect you from all the misery, pain and despair. But i don't know which way i should go. Am i giving you long term misery by being together with you? Will the misery becomes short term if i take leave? I wanted to post something, but decided not to after re-reading our conversation for the 3rd time. I realised by hiding something from someone really can make that particular person you wanted to protect to feel better. For example, you hide the fact that you feel bad on our first date, if you had told me, i will had feel so guilty(which is what i am feeling right now). That was meant to serve as a joke, but i guess since that was our first date you can't read my mind well, and you took it to heart, i'm sorry about that :(
For the 1000 times i asked myself for the day, should i set you free? I really loved you with my heart and soul, hence i don't want to see you so sad. I could no longer give you any happiness, do you still want me? All i can provide you is pain and misery, i can no longer maintain the innocent, angelic impression in your heart anymore. The yee ying now is only a devil, a bad girl that you should distant from. I told myself to let go of you, set you free and let you find a better girlf to replace me. But my heart longs to hold on to you for every single second that it can. Le amo para siempre is not from the mouth, it's meant to say from the bottom of the heart and be kept in the bottom of the heart of the other person.
I'm still keeping my promise for you, which is i won't breathe a word to you that i had cried or what so ever. But sorry that i broke one of it :( which is i still can't be mature enough to understand you thoroughly. I tried too hard to cling on to this relationship that it's hurting you like hell. Maybe i should tell you this.. If you want to leave i won't stop you, neither will i stand in your way. Cux i can never ever bring myself to say break up. When never i think of breaking up, i think of the day in pageone, the face you had when i said those nasty things... When i think of breaking up, i can't help but think how my life will be like, when it's without you, like my of my previous post had mentioned, it will be no way better than now. I don't dare to think about breaking up, cux it hurts a lot. I don't like crying, cux my eyes are sensitive to tears, but my heart is just so weak that it cause my eyes to shed tears whenever it feels sad. Sorry that my blog posts are always so pessimistic.
To those who had happened to pass by this blog, erm, yea, dancing-dreamsinthe-dawn.blogspot.com used to be my blog, but i guess i grew tired of that blog, i still prefer this one to it. Simply cux, i luv this blog's add, suits me better than dancing dreams. I wanted to answer what majority had asked about, which regards to why i call it dancing dreams in the dawn. But i jux don't feel like discussing about it now. So yea, will probably post about it in the next post. Hopefully tomorrow. Last but not least, hope spain wins later on match(: So baby can win lot and lots of money xP and also i feel the same as li hao, i believe that spain will win holland with a score, 2-1~! <3
