Yes i admit i feel guilty about what i had done yesterday..
But i already said i won't apologise to you this time round. What i said wasn't wrong at all. I won't deny that i'm in the wrong too for dampening your spirit and kicking up a big fuss over such small matter. But that doesn't mean what i said was wrong. You could have told me you want to spend some precious time with your pals, as it's a rare opportunity. I would have understand that. You asked me to go sleep is like chasing me off like that...
I can never forget what you told me.. "so if all you get is sadness and despair why the fuck you still with me?!" since last night you stay this, it keep replaying like a spoiled recording inside my mind. I don't know why i so concerned about this sentence. At first i thought it is the vulgar in the sentence, but then i think about it thoroughly.. Is not. I do mind when you use vulgar on me, but that's only 10% of why i mind. The other 90% is cux, i really want be with you. With you is not all sadness and despair that i got, i have tons of happiness too. But i believe you are the one getting tons and tons of unhappiness from a suckish girlf like me.. First, suspicion. Second, moodswings. Third, mood-spoiler. Did you even get happiness from me? I'm such a failure. I told cia how bad i felt, but i don't want to say sorry. I don't want to admit i was in the wrong. I'm sick and tired of always.. crawling to your feet and begging for forgiveness.. Cia, thank you for spending your whole recess to accompany me to emo, and spending time to think of what to say to console me. I'm fine. Juz that i'm too stubborn. I don't know what to say about this anymore.
Today physic practical, fun. Understand better through practical than theory. yea, that's all.
