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Juz like the title of this post.. BabyBoy is your luv for me true?
Today went to meet baby at woodlands at 2pm, he was already waiting there when i reached, sweetie, tQ for always waiting me ;D At first we planned to go woodlands cc, but when reached there then notice it was closed on public holidays :/ Ignored him throughout the whole walking journey, and was msging cia.. Cuz after receiving his sms saying that he had to leave at 4pm i felt kinda sadded :( In order to meet him, mum talked to me sacartiscally and said that I kept going out recently. Argh... I don't know lahx, maybe even if i feel sad or heart broken, i already don't know why my tears seem to be dried up, and they are not falling down.. Walked around a few block then sat under block 805, chit chat and blah blah blah, until time passed. He walked me to a bus stop, at first thought he will accompany me take bus back to woodlands interchange since i'm not familiar with the place.. But he didn't, he was about to say bye-bye, and I kicked up a fuss and walked off..
I feel cheated by what he had done.. After missing him for two days, and this is all i get back..
Jie told me quite a lot of stuff... Regarding that adding vodka to fizzy drinks, you will still be able to smell the alcohol and taste the alcoholic sensation.. Well and she brought up that time when i drank alcoholic drink.
Baby i really wanted to trust you, but how is it possible that at first drink you didn't notice that the drink was so different? And when you feel high, why can't you control your mind and stop drinking... What if the incident wasn't drinking and is sexual? Are you going to tell me that, "I feel high, and she continue seducing me that's why that kinda thing happen?" *Sighx..* I juz can't bring myself to hate you, leave you neither could i bring myself to say I hate You... Whatever you do, no matter what jie said about how you are lying to me, i still trusted you.. I don't know, but somehow there's a feeling that you're not lying about this matter. I trust you baby. Even if the trust is now broken, i believe as time pass, we will be able to build back the trust again(:
I really don't like people who drink.. After drinking they juz seems so restless the next day.. I don't know if you know that the feeling that i fear most is loneliness anot, but i juz hope you understand.. Whenever you feel restless you juz keep sleeping and end up you got no time for me, and thus treated me coldly... It breaks my heart when that happens.. Drinking isn't good for your health either... I don't want anything that's bad to happen to you.. You're my dearest, the one that i rely on for everything, can you imagine if you are gone out of a sudden how am I gonna go on? You promised me you will be there for me, and vice versa i promised you that i will be there for you, so please (that it as i'm begging you) take good care of yourself, don't let anything happen to you.
Today was really tiring, after taking care of the elderly for the whole day and helping Mrs Poon out with the serving of food plus finding people to help serve the elderly.. Exhausted, but it aids me to understand the elderly more.. Looking at them, it somehow makes me wonder.. Am i looking into my future? When i turn old, will i become liddat? Pitiful, lonely and need people to look after? Where will my hubby be then? A lot of questions surfaced in my mind, I can say, i fear aging..
There's one thing that jie mention also, and it makes me think really deep into it.. And that is, why baby don't want change his fb status :/ is it cuz he don't want someone to see it? Or he don't want people to know that he is dating? I'm envy of alicia, at least her boyf bother and is eager to change his fb status to "In a relationship with Alicia Ang" haish... guess this will never happen between me and him huh..? Striking out fb status, the next thing is couple ring, seems impossible either *strike it out too* and the next... argh, hate thinking about all these lahx, i juz feel that he don't understand me enough... Hope hope, wish wish that baby will understand me more :$
